We all deal with it. We all live through it. We all experience it. Whether it be expected or unexpected, the death of a loved one is never an easy thing to swallow. During this time, it can be easy to become filled with unfamiliar emotions that can cause us to experience mental fogginess—difficulty concentrating, irritability, loneliness, or intense sadness. When it comes to the death of a loved one, grieving is important. Grieving can start off being extremely difficult, but eventually will help the mental fogginess decrease.
Grieving is not forgetting about the loved one, but it is healthily partaking in self-care activities that allow us to cope effectively. In the illumination of remembering the importance of our loss, we gain the ability to develop a newfound sense of peace—one that allows us to focus on the valuable memories we have, rather than the searing pain that loss leaves behind. If you are dealing with grief as it relates to death, then find comfort in these 3 easily-accessible suggestions to utilize when dealing with grief.
1. Express Yourself Covertly
Expressions of oneself when it comes to grief can vary in many ways. Some individuals write a letter that expresses their final thoughts about their loved one(s). Others may create a scrapbook commemorating the good times they had with their loved one(s). Many may choose to write about their loss daily through journaling—eventually journeying their way back to a place of tranquility. Studies show that creative expressions have helped many people move healthily through their time of grief. If creative expression is not enough, then talking to someone is also another alternative.
2. Express Yourself Overtly
Two of the most powerful skills given to humanity is the ability to be transparent and vulnerable. While they are powerful by themselves, what makes them even more robust is when they are unveiled during precise and strategic moments—times of intimacy, interest, and influence. Interchangeably, both concepts can seem the same, but they are both different. Transparency relates to how much and what information you choose to share with another individual, while vulnerability gears itself toward the depth and weight of truth and meaning in your actions and words.
Sometimes the hardest step to take is the first one—telling someone you’re struggling. When it comes to grieving, finding someone to be transparent and vulnerable with can be extremely beneficial.
Here are three individuals that can more than likely help you through your grieving process:
1. A trusted friend or family member
2. A spiritual leader
3. A professional grief counselor
Reaching out to other people will help you in strengthening yourself as you go through your time of grief. Remember, you are not alone. Grief is something that everyone has or will experience. Find someone that you know will respect your priceless transparency and vulnerability.
Consider this, "...whatever is tearing you up inside, stop hiding it. The sooner you ask for help and admit you need other people, the sooner you will find relief." -Perry Noble
3. Accept What has Happened
This is one of the initial phases that everyone usually struggles with—the acceptance of what can seem so surreal. Accepting what has happened can bring about mental fogginess, as mentioned above. Sometimes, the process of acceptance does not happen once. There are some instances where acceptance will have to be established over and over again. As hard as it is, accepting what has happened will help lessen the intensity of difficult emotions that come along with grieving.
Some may ask the question, How long does grief take? The answer is simple, as long as it takes. Each person has their own timeline and unique way of coping with loss.
Remember, there is no specific way to grieve. To begin moving in a healthy direction when it comes to the loss of a loved one, we must participate in the process of grieving. Participating in this procedure helps us to initiate a rendezvous with tranquility. By going through this process, those who remain in our lives while on this earth will still have access to the gems we have to offer—our hearts and health, love and gifts, wisdom and time. We all have been given one life to live, gifts, a calling, and a brief window of time to be found faithful to God and those we serve. With that being said, grieve: again I say, grieve.