Relationships are an important part of life. Studies show that healthy relationships contribute to living longer, dealing positively with stress, and being healthier. While healthy relationships can benefit our health, unhealthy relationships can be detrimental to our health. If anything is more excruciating than a bodily disease or wound, it is the emotional ache of a human heart.
Broken relationships exist in every culture and demographic—perhaps, maybe even in you. Being able to identify the warning signs of an unhealthy relationship is extremely important. If you are dealing with one-sided relationships, then it may be time to cut the tie. While it may seem devastating or insensitive to break ties, it is perfectly natural and can be very healthy to cut people off.
Here are a few simple red flags that show it is time to let someone go.
1. When You Initiate All or Most of the Contact
Everyone has experienced or witnessed the draining power of a one-sided relationship. Whether it’s with a family member or a friend, being the only person to initiate all or most of the contact can be exhausting. Relationships are an exchange. A relationship will always take two people that choose to be invested in each other. If you find yourself initiating all or most of the contact, evaluate the other individual's character. Being able to lovingly engage in accurately evaluating a person’s character is essential in determining whether or not the tie must be broken.
2. When Their Words are not Adding up with Their Actions
Between one’s words and actions, there is a chasm—a cleft or gap. Within this chasm, an individual has the time to prove that their words add up with their actions. During the “chasm phase”, one’s actions may either frustrate or affirm us. During the chasm phase, frustration can occur when one’s action(s) fail to align with their words. This is because believing what someone says is a natural inclination. Most people tend to believe what others say, especially when the words seem to be genuine.
With that being said, it’s safe to say that sometimes people’s actions do not support their statements. When there is confusion in the chasm phase, assess whether or not the individual's affirming words add up with the actions they display. If false promises and statements continuously fluctuate in the relationship, then it may be time to break the tie.
3. When They Fail to be Involved in Your Life
Surrounding yourself with people who support you is vital while traversing through life. Support is something that can come in many ways. From my observations, the pillars of support entail, transparency, authenticity, and honesty. Your support circle should not include people who are confused about your value—they should honor you. Find people who value you. And when you do, savor and relish the sweet taste of genuine friendship. If you find it hard to determine whether or not you have good support, consider this, "When a friend helps you to understand that you still have a place in their life, it not only reaffirms the friendship, but it reaffirms you.” Ask yourself this, when was the last time that I was reaffirmed in my friendship/relationship?
With that being said, every decision you make today has the propensity to impact your tomorrow. Whether you like it or not, relationships change. When relationships start to worsen profusely, be courageous in deciding to let go. In doing this, you honor all parties and open a healthy door that leads to moving forward.